The greatest tragedy in humankind is not being abandoned by your loved ones, but that you abandoned yourself!

When you doubt yourself and put other people’s needs before yours, and when you engage in self-destructive behavior, you have abandoned yourself!  

This is the reason why I created my signature therapy, “Inner Twin.”

My job is to remind you of the truth. The truth is that you are absolutely powerful beyond measure, and whatever you want in your life, you can make it happen! No one can take that power 
away from you!

Unfortunately, in the current mental health system, you may spend tons of money, and years in therapy and not get the results you desire! 

Indeed, it is time for a big revolution in the mental health world!

At Zen Institute, we can help you achieve your desired outcome in as little as four weeks!

The variety of clients who have completed our program includes people who had never received psychotherapy treatment and people who had been in treatment for years.  

The feedback we have received since day one, which was 12 years ago has always been the same: 

“I can’t believe it works!” 

​“It needs to be made available to everyone in this world!”

We utilize the shortest amount of treatment time (4 weeks) to produce the most amazing desired outcome!  

Since we opened up Zen Institute, the feedback from our alumni is that 100% of them would recommend their loved ones to come for treatment! 

Here is what makes our treatment different from others: 

#1. Inner twin therapy: It is indeed the missing link in traditional therapy – The powerful foundation of self-healing work!

Once you connect to your authentic self, your higher self, and tap into your inner power, you will be able to build this solid self-confidence, that will always stay with you no matter what is happening around you!

#2. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT): Learn about the combination of Eastern and Western philosophy, change your thoughts; change your life!

#3. Dialectical Behavior Therapy: (DBT): it is focused on Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

#4. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing: (EMDR) This is a very powerful treatment modality that can help you let go of unresolved issues and past traumas! 

This program is uniquely tailored for your individual needs, which cannot be achieved in treatment that is mainly geared towards group work. 

Over the years, we have been asked to open up Zen Institute branches in New York City and San Francisco. 

As we continue to serve the world, our goal is to offer this program to everyone who is in pain and suffering! 

Indeed, you are not here to compete; you are here to connect! You are not here to suffer; you are here to celebrate! Celebrate the fact that you are absolutely powerful beyond measure!

www.myzeninstitute.com
520-222-9361

LIVE FEARLESSLY:
Part 1: Who are you?
Part 2: How to connect to your Authentic Self - Inner Twin
Part 3: Be one with your Inner Twin = Amazing Life!

“I love you! I will never give up on you!” ~ Your Inner Twin

​Research has shown that positive self-talk can improve self-esteem, foster empowerment, and relieve symptoms of anxiety, depression and addiction. Unfortunately, the majority of our self-talk is often negative. It is unconscious and programmed from a very young age. 

In order to change your negative self-talk, the first thing is to realize that you are talking to yourself in a negative way. Some may argue, “I don’t talk to myself, I am not a schizophrenic!” The truth is that if you are a human being, you do talk to yourself! Talking is thinking out loud, and thinking is talking quietly. We engage in dialogues constantly, both internally and externally. So, relax, talking to yourself does not mean you are crazy! In fact, it can increase your insight and allow you to clearly see what it is in front of you. 

As human beings, we have two inner voices. One is called conscience, I call it “Inner Twin”, your authentic self; the other one is called ego, the nasty roommate you can never get rid of, your false self. When you are connected to your Inner Twin, you feel loved and at peace, even during times of trepidation. When you are driven by your ego, you often feel fearful and insecure, even when everything is going well for you.

Living in a shame and fear based world, our default is to doubt and criticize ourselves and others. It is done unconsciously. To live a life that is full of love, peace and joy means living consciously. 

Positive self-talk requires imagination. Albert Einstein once said: "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." All of us love to have a best friend, a romantic partner who loves us unconditionally... we are waiting for this to happen, meanwhile we complain about how difficult it is to find someone who understands us. Do yourself a favor! Wait no more! Take business into your own hands! Today is the day you are going to take charge of your life! 

What I want you to do is to start a dialogue with yourself, such as, “How is your day? Talk to me!” Then you respond to yourself just like talking to an old friend, someone you love dearly. There are three types of relationships you can have with yourself: enemy, stranger, or best friend. Make it ok, whatever it is. The sooner you can start this relationship with yourself the better your life will be. 

When I first started to have a dialogue with myself - my Inner Twin, I felt awkward and uncomfortable, yet somehow it felt like a safe place I could go to and talk about my secrets without being judged. It was not a smooth ride in the beginning. I had suffered from on-going suicidal thoughts since I was 12 years old. For years, my negative point of view of life prevented me to see any possibility of getting any relief. I challenged my Inner Twin and doubted her constantly, I hated her because she was always right! Even though my love and hate relationship with my Inner Twin went on for a long time, my Inner Twin has never given up on me.

A simple dialogue with your Inner Twin could be like this.  Just fill in the blanks: 

You: Right now I am feeling _____, I need your help with _____.

Inner Twin: I love you, you are not alone. I am with you. I understand you. This is what I think _________. (use your skills as a best friend consulting someone you love.)

You: Thank you so much for your support. I will be sure to talk to you on a daily basis.

Inner Twin: I’d love that!

The trick is to personalize your relationship with your inner twin, make it as fun and creative as you can. Your Inner Twin knows everything about you, yet your Inner Twin will never judge or criticize you! The best part of it is that your Inner Twin is available to talk to you at 3 o’clock in the morning if you need to, you don’t need a phone or computer, and it costs $0/per session. 

Many clients have reported that this loving connection with their Inner Twin has helped them create an amazing life! I believe that a spiritual connection with oneself is the most powerful element in healing! Without it, there will always be a void, and this void can only be filled by your Inner Twin!

“I love you, I am listening.” ~ Your Inner Twin

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LIVE FEARLESSLY:
Part 1: Who are you?
Part 2: How to connect to your Authentic Self - Inner Twin
Part 3: Be one with your Inner Twin = Amazing Life!

​“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” ~ Mother Teresa

Do you know that 46% of the population in the United States report feeling lonely? This shocking information was released by the Health Insurance Company Cigna in 2018. In the same survey, it also found that the younger generation was actually lonelier than the older generation. There is also growing evidence that loneliness is a predictor of premature death. No wonder suicide is the second leading cause of death among ages 10-24 in the United States.

Loneliness and depression go hand in hand. According to a cover story by TIME magazine, currently in America there are about 16 million people affected by depression. The cost of health care and loss of productivity is estimated to be about 210 billion each year. 

If you are dealing with addiction, you may have heard “HALT” as four major triggers for relapse. It stands for Hungry, Angry, LONELY, and Tired. Loneliness may lead to substance abuse and all kinds of addictive behavior. The more addictive behaviors you do, the lonelier get. It’s like you’re stuck in a vicious cycle, and you just can’t get out of it!

So, what is the REAL cure for loneliness? Reaching out to family and friends? Participating activities and keep yourself busy? All of these are just a temporary fix. 

Building a life that is full of love, peace and joy is like building your dream house. You need to start with a solid foundation, which is your relationship with yourself! Your relationships with your family and friends are like the back porch. If a storm came, and your back porch got ripped off, you would be safe and secure because your foundation is solid! 

If you have loving family and friends, wonderful! Count your blessings! However, you can’t build your life based on the love and support from your loved ones. The reality is that no matter how much your loved ones care about you, they won’t be able to be with you 24/7. You will eventually feel lonely and disappointed. Number one: it’s not under your control whether your family and friends care about you or not; Number two: you will never get enough what you want from them. You might ask: what about participating group activities? It all sounds great, but at the end of day, you still have to go home and be alone...what do you do then?

The REAL cure for loneliness is to be connected to your Authentic Self. In Part 1 of this series, I mentioned your Inner Twin. Here is the recap: Your Inner Twin is your conscience/inner voice, your higher self, your authentic self… that part of you that tells you the truth whether you’d like to hear it or not. Your Inner Twin has your best interests in mind, and will always love you unconditionally. 

LOVE is the answer. It is hard to survive in this cold chaotic world. We desperately want to feel loved, but we are looking for love in all the wrong places. True love comes from within. 

The unconditional love from your Inner Twin is like this: the taste of the first drop of water in your mouth when you are dying in the desert; someone forgiving all of the debts you owe; a loving friend who cares about you for who you are without any agenda. Who can fulfill these roles 24/7 just for you? That’s right, the answer is YOU! Your Inner Twin.

After being abandoned by everyone, I threw away my religion, I lost faith in God, I didn’t believe love anymore. I questioned everything in life and I trusted no one. I engaged all kinds of self-destructive behavior. I abandoned myself just like everyone abandoned me. 

My drug of choice was relationship addiction. I remember this experience vividly: I was on my way to meet this new guy, whom I knew I had no business being involved with. I heard my Inner Twin telling me, “Hey, you can still turn your car around right now, otherwise, you are going to act out and come home feeling like a piece of shit…” I immediately discounted her. My excuse was, “You don’t know about this one!” “Shut shuuu…” Sure enough, I sexually acted out again. I came home feeling dirty and ashamed about myself. This was the first time, I actually paid attention to my Inner Twin. 

If you are dealing with alcohol, drugs, gambling, self-harm, or any kind of addiction, you might have had similar experiences to mine. 

We all have done things we are not proud of. In the moment or after doing it, your Inner Twin/inner voice will often give you a warning, it could be a gut feeling or intuition, or even something more direct like, “No! Don’t do it!” If you listened to it, you would have a sense of peace. If you didn’t, you would often end up feeling shameful and lonely. If you continued on the negative path, you likely experienced high anxiety and more loneliness, simply because you disconnected from your power source – your Inner Twin! 

If you have treated your Inner twin as your worst enemy, today is your opportunity to turn your worst enemy into your best friend! 

Step 1: Get a journal. 

Step 2: Start a dialogue with yourself.

Step 3: Have a conversation with yourself as a good friend to yourself.

Like a powerful bald eagle, you are meant to spread your wings and FLY! You won’t be able to FLY without “First Loving Yourself”!

“Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes, I need expert advice!” ~Edward Henheffer 

Ps: Want a sample of a dialogue with your Inner Twin? Look for our next blog! We will release it on Next Wednesday 7-18-18.

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Part 1: Who are you?
Part 2: How to connect to your Authentic Self - Inner Twin
Part 3: Be one with your Inner Twin = Amazing Life!

​“Who are you to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?... Who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

When I was 10 years old, during a casual conversation, my mom told me, “You were born as such an ugly baby, you came out with a full head of hair, and you looked like a cat! No nurses wanted to hold you!” Mom even gave me an endearing nick name: “Ugly Duckling”. As I grew up, this stuck with me. While I occasionally received compliments about my physical appearance from others, I never believed them. My self-esteem was gone by the time I was a little girl.

Many of us struggle to find who we are. We take on other people’s points of view and make them our own. If people think we are physically fit and attractive, our self-esteem goes up, if people criticize our appearance, our self-esteem goes down. 

In the case of not liking the way we look, it may drive us to binge eating, drinking excessively, using illegal drugs, you name it… all kinds of addictive behavior! All we want is to get rid of that yucky feeling inside of us. In reality, we ARE the same amazing human beings whether our weight goes up or down! What we really need is to know who we truly are, and the truth will set us free! We no longer need to use substances to numb ourselves and run away from our emotional pain.

If the idea of “Living fearlessly” is appealing to you, I would like to invite you to go on a journey of self-discovery:

Step 1: Remember who you are:

As a human being, the essence of who you are is pure love, pure peace and pure joy. You don’t need to earn love, find peace or pursue joy, it is in your DNA! 

LOVE is why you are here. Living a life without feeling loved is like a guitar without strings, there is no live music anymore! You walk around like an empty shell. You feel like you’re missing something, but you just don’t know what it is. 

The definition of love is “An intense feeling of deep affection.” When you love someone, you show interest and affection to this person. Constantly criticizing and beating up someone is not an act of love. Unfortunately, we all are guilty of that. The question is, are you ready to learn how to love, honor and cherish yourself?

Step 2: Love yourself:

Having self-compassion is a learned skill. We live in a fear-based world, and practicing love and kindness can be very challenging, especially when everyone around you is negative or critical! When you set your default on love instead of fear, your loving energy overrides negativity just like the darkness disappears when the Iight comes in! 

How do you love yourself? Personally, I spent the majority of my life searching for love – in all kinds of wrong places. I thought if I loved someone selflessly, someone eventually would love me back. WRONG! No one can love myself for me just like no one can eat or breathe for me. I needed to learn how to love myself first, so I could love someone freely without attachments. I went to many therapists to learn how to love this person I hated so much and had to live with. No one could give me a concrete answer. They told me, “Just meditate, think positive, and be kind to yourself.” They all sounded great, and I gave them a try, they would work for a while, but eventually none of them worked for me. Why? It took me many years to figure this out: I showed no desire to be with the person I am. I hated myself so much, I just wanted to disappear or be someone else. 

One day, after I acted out again feeling so ashamed of myself. I grabbed a chair and started to talk to myself. I admitted to myself that I had been an asshole to myself, then I switched chairs, again talking to myself, “It’s ok. I love you just the way you are.” “Let’s start over. I’ve got your back.” In that moment, I experienced an enormous amount of love and compassion. I starting to cry uncontrollably. I couldn’t believe that after years of abandoning and hating myself, there was actually a person inside of me who would forgive me and take me back. That was the beginning of my self-healing journey. This was how I created my signature therapy “Inner Twin”. 

Who is your Inner Twin? Your Inner Twin is your conscience, your higher self, your authentic self… that part of you that tells you the truth whether you’d like to hear it or not. Your Inner Twin has your best interests in mind, and will always love you unconditionally. This is about learning positive self-talk. It extracts that part of you that knows how to care for and love someone, such as your pets, your family and friends. Instead of offering love and compassion outwardly, you are offering it to yourself. I call this part of you: your “Inner Twin”, simply because you are connected to this part of you just like identical twins are connected to one another.

People constantly ask me how to build self-confidence? My answer is always the same: You must get connected to your Authentic Self, your Inner Twin! Your Inner Twin is like the world’s biggest bank that belongs to you. Once you are connected, you’ll have access to unlimited wealth. Spiritually speaking, you will feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, wherever you go!

True love comes from within. Nothing from the external world can bring you long lasting love. Continuing to look for love outside of you is like jumping on the train that goes to “Crazy Town”, you will never feel good enough about yourself!

Maybe you have tried very hard to get approval from others. Here is the good news! You already have the approval from your Inner Twin! You don’t need to earn love or prove yourself to others. It is your birthright to be loved! The only person in this Universe who knows how to love you just the way you want to be loved is YOU! It’s time to be with your Inner Twin and get on a fearless journey that brings you abundant enthusiasm and self-confidence! 

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” ~ The top five regrets of the dying by Bronnie Ware

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